The blog “Trent’s World” hosts a weekly smile blogging event in which you can write about what made you smile the past week. You can find the rules on his blog provided in the link below:
https://trentsworldblog.wordpress.com/the-weekly-smile-weeklysmile/
I will admit my smile for this week is a little macabre in that it was caused by a car accident I was in this week. I smiled in the passenger seat of a cop car, while catching a glimpse of my boyfriend in the ambulance ahead of me, to check whether or not my newly fixed teeth were still there and alright. I smiled bigger when I realized my teeth were just fine but also because I realized in the grande scheme of things my boyfriend and I, were fine…we were still alive.
We were rushed to the hospital emergency room and were registered to have our injuries accessed – we were both experiencing neck pain. Around 8 hours later we would be released with a clear bill of health minus some muscular pain that the ER doctor said could be managed with ibuprofen. I smiled then too, after our X-rays were back and I was told we did not break or severe anything. The biggest smile I had that night though was witnessing an act of kindness and love in the emergency room that night.
There was a young man with a big gash above his eye and his eye was swollen over. He was waiting to be examined and to get stitches since he had been jumped on the street. I smiled because right there with him through all of it was his girlfriend who held gauze pads to his eye as he slowly fell asleep against her. She had argued with a nurse to get those gauze pads since the cloth they gave her was sticking to his gash. I smiled because even though it was horrible what had happened to him that night, he had someone who supported him and was kind enough to hold gauze pads to his face for roughly six hours straight.
I was losing sight of being positive about the accident and how we were ultimately still alive and spiraling into a negative tailspin of “why would this happen to us?” Until I seen the scene I described above and I smiled, truly smiled because I realized THERE IS STILL kindness in the world no matter how scary or awful it may seem at times.
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Published by FearANDSelf-Loathing
Who Am I?
Who Am I? Well fuck, that’s a loaded question. My name is Brittany Gushue and the thing that seems to define me the most and the topic to which this blog is dedicated to is the fact that I suffer from Bipolar Type One. I believe what makes me the best person to educate and bring to light topics of mental health is my firsthand experience with this disorder and all its pitfalls and actually believe it or not, benefits. I have learned a lot in my twenty eight years on this earth but the fundamental truth I am most thankful for learning is to never take anything for granted – especially your sanity.
I have been hospitalized on three separate occasions, twice for manic psychosis and once for depression. I have experienced the soaring highs and crippling lows of the bipolar pendulum and I can honestly say I don’t know which is worse. I’ve had delusions of grandeur, hallucinations and paranoia as a result of my illness. I believe these things make me fundamentally more grounded as a person for having lost my sanity, not once but twice, I write from nothing resembling a high horse.
I am currently an aspiring author and am working on a manuscript detailing my journey from sanity to insanity, and then back again. A fun fact about me is that I once genuinely believed I was a millionaire with boat loads of cash and luxury cars at my disposal when in reality I was living off welfare. I’ve spent more time in the psych ward than most will ever spend in a hospital in general. I am certifiable but best believe I own that shit.
The thing that connects me to you, my reader, however is that at the very core of it I am human just like you. I’ve experienced love, loss, fear and everything in between. I write from a place of experience when addressing mental health. I want you to understand if nothing else that your illness does not define you. You are undeniably you, flaws and all. Embrace that shit!And remember you are never completely alone in this. There are people like me who have been there and have come out better for it on the other side.
More than anything, I want to say, “I hope you’re down for the ride” that is this blog.
xoxoxoxox,
BiPolarMania
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6 hours of gauze pads holding is true love and dedication. ❤
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Wow, glad that for the most part you and your boyfriend are OK. And that dedicated young lady holding the gauze on her boyfriend’s wound for six hours – sometimes we do need to witness kindness to remember that there is good in the world.
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Leaving a car crash with no injuries and watching someone care for a loved one are things to smile about.
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Yes indeed!
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Thank goodness neither one of you were injured and you are both fine. That is really something to smile about!!!
😁🙏
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Yes absolutely!
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