hope

bipolardisorder

Metamorphosis

I am experiencing a metamorphosis and I can feel my bones breaking and bending into a newer, more brilliant version of myself. It’s uncomfortable yet liberating. I am finally realizing what serves me; what works in my life and what does not. It is uncomfortable because I am doing some heavy healing and acknowledging I […]

future

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Optimistically Uneasy Towards My Future

I am learning to compromise in life, to compromise with expectations. It took me nearly thirty years to figure out life will follow it’s own natural ebb and flow regardless of what you expect or think you deserve. I am optimistic, however, that what is meant for me will be for me. I do genuinely believe that and on days I lose hope, or ground, I remember this statement. It comforts me. If I am authentic with my intentions for my ideal future, I can aim and land the mark at least slightly in the ballpark of what I envisioned…I believe this

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Graphic Design: My Hidden Talent and Passion

“I may have found my calling through a series of misfortunate events…but I rediscovered what I was born to do – share and make a living from my art.”

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bipolardisorder

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delusions

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Almost Two Years Sober and Counting…

There reaches a point in your journey when a fork appears in the road, and you can continue on the same path you’ve been travelling in hopes it one day changes for the better or you can take the road you’ve yet to explore. You’re not quite sure if it will yield what you hope for but at the very least it will assuredly offer something new and different. After a long couple of years of misery, I decided I was either going to continue down the path of substance abuse mindlessly covering my internal wounds with essentially band-aids, or I could be brave and choose a new path – one where I struggled, got sober, and came to terms with myself honestly and authentically. Consider the road that challenges you the most when these forks appear on your life’s journey. I can tell you from personal experience, they are more rewarding and you learn that you are truly capable of whatever you set your mind to. Set your mind to exploring, exploring self-growth and you will never regret it. Each day I come closer to understanding myself a little better and I know now I am extremely susceptible to becoming overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that do not serve me. I keep this in line by keeping my wits about me since (as I can attest) drugs just add to the chaos. I want to fully appreciate and interpret my world without dulling it or numbing it on some whim. I want to feel…everything. I no longer wish to hide behind a substance as a way to cope with some shit reality. I intend to create my own, better reality.

“Don’t you miss getting high?”

To that I reply, “I am already high.”

breakups

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writing

I’m Conscious Of Not Making Monsters Outta My Exes

There is a verse in a very popular song by Drake from his “Take Care” album (my favourite of all time) that comes to mind as I contemplate something one of my exes (and now really good friends) said to me today. It is verse three from the song “Marvin’s Room:” “I think I’m addicted […]

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delusions

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emergingblogger

health

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JFDI – “Just Fucking Do It”

I am not saying I do not still struggle with the inevitable ups and downs of this disorder but I have come to realize you need to give yourself grace. You need to understand healing is a process, a journey unto itself. I simply want to show that you can go from falling apart on your bedroom floor to managing your symptoms and picking yourself back up.

addiction

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bipolardisorder

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depression

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Where Do I Begin and Where Do I End?

I tend to shy away about talking about my relationships on here because I tend to treat them as sacred. But I realize that would be negating a big part of my life that my readers may relate to and honestly, walk with me through this break up, and I will have you better on […]

bipolardisorder

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My First Galentine’s Day

“Just because it isn’t an “official” holiday doesn’t mean it’s not important (like *coughs* the most important). Truly, if you’re going to pick one “fake” holiday to get pumped about, it shouldn’t be National Pizza or whatever else…it should be Galentine’s Day.” According to Urban Dictionary, Galentine’s Day is celebrated on February 13, the day before […]

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depression

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Sever the Tie. Let That Shit Go.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with the idea of who I want to keep and who I want to cut out of my life. I am at a point in my life where if a relationship is not serving me in some way than I do not feel it’s necessary to hold on to. […]

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My Dream Box – Do You Dare To Dream?

I have a little trinket, I found and was drawn to at Hallmark two years ago, that has been quite frankly collecting dust on my bookshelf. I was drawn to it tonight and I think there is a certain magic in that. What is it, you might ask? It’s called a dreambox and I will […]