psychosis, bipolar, depression

“I may have found my calling through a series of misfortunate events…but I rediscovered what I was born to do – share and make a living from my art.”

Almost Two Years Sober and Counting…

There reaches a point in your journey when a fork appears in the road, and you can continue on the same path you’ve been travelling in hopes it one day changes for the better or you can take the road you’ve yet to explore. You’re not quite sure if it will yield what you hope for but at the very least it will assuredly offer something new and different. After a long couple of years of misery, I decided I was either going to continue down the path of substance abuse mindlessly covering my internal wounds with essentially band-aids, or I could be brave and choose a new path – one where I struggled, got sober, and came to terms with myself honestly and authentically. Consider the road that challenges you the most when these forks appear on your life’s journey. I can tell you from personal experience, they are more rewarding and you learn that you are truly capable of whatever you set your mind to. Set your mind to exploring, exploring self-growth and you will never regret it. Each day I come closer to understanding myself a little better and I know now I am extremely susceptible to becoming overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that do not serve me. I keep this in line by keeping my wits about me since (as I can attest) drugs just add to the chaos. I want to fully appreciate and interpret my world without dulling it or numbing it on some whim. I want to feel…everything. I no longer wish to hide behind a substance as a way to cope with some shit reality. I intend to create my own, better reality.

“Don’t you miss getting high?”

To that I reply, “I am already high.”

addiction

delusions

dream

fitness

hope

poetry

recovery

Uncategorized

writing

A Love Letter To My Sneakers,

“More than anything I run to fly, to take my mended broken wings and force them into the sky.”

breakups

health

recovery

Uncategorized

writing

I’m Conscious Of Not Making Monsters Outta My Exes

There is a verse in a very popular song by Drake from his “Take Care” album (my favourite of all time) that comes to mind as I contemplate something one of my exes (and now really good friends) said to me today. It is verse three from the song “Marvin’s Room:” “I think I’m addicted […]

emergingblogger

health

mental health

recovery

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Rebounds Only Delay The Inevitable Need For Healing

A rebound relationship is defined as, “A relationship initiated shortly after a romantic breakup – before the feelings about the former relationship have been resolved,” according to a research study conducted by Brumbaugh and Fraley. I have never been so called out in my life when reading this definition, sitting back analyzing my most recent […]

emergingblogger

fitness

health

Uncategorized

Why Can’t I Be Bipolar AND Sexy Too, On Social Media?

I AM Bipolar AND sexy too but I won’t apologize for it. I also will not allow people to belittle me into thinking I am any less or that I am not a good person or a good mental health advocate because I display my body. You’re simply ignorant in my opinion if you think the two some how correlate. I am a woman above all else with the freedom to post or not post whatever the fuck I want. If you don’t like it, hit the unsubscribe button quietly then walk away and please keyboard warriors, just get out of my fucking face!

blog

delusions

dream

emergingblogger

health

hope

medication

recovery

Uncategorized

writing

JFDI – “Just Fucking Do It”

I am not saying I do not still struggle with the inevitable ups and downs of this disorder but I have come to realize you need to give yourself grace. You need to understand healing is a process, a journey unto itself. I simply want to show that you can go from falling apart on your bedroom floor to managing your symptoms and picking yourself back up.

bipolardisorder

blog

dream

emergingblogger

hope

mental health

photography

Uncategorized

writing

My First Galentine’s Day

“Just because it isn’t an “official” holiday doesn’t mean it’s not important (like *coughs* the most important). Truly, if you’re going to pick one “fake” holiday to get pumped about, it shouldn’t be National Pizza or whatever else…it should be Galentine’s Day.” According to Urban Dictionary, Galentine’s Day is celebrated on February 13, the day before […]

addiction

blog

depression

emergingblogger

health

recovery

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Sever the Tie. Let That Shit Go.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with the idea of who I want to keep and who I want to cut out of my life. I am at a point in my life where if a relationship is not serving me in some way than I do not feel it’s necessary to hold on to. […]

blog

delusions

health

hope

medication

recovery

Uncategorized

Let’s Talk About Suicide…(Trigger Warning)

I was looking through my old journals and sketch books for content for my book I am writing on my memoirs and unfortunately but fortunately stumbled upon this sketch and was reminded of how I used to feel and was a little shocked by the date this was drawn. As long as I can remember […]