bipolardisorder

bipolardisorder

Metamorphosis

I am experiencing a metamorphosis and I can feel my bones breaking and bending into a newer, more brilliant version of myself. It’s uncomfortable yet liberating. I am finally realizing what serves me; what works in my life and what does not. It is uncomfortable because I am doing some heavy healing and acknowledging I […]

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bipolardisorder
depression
mental health

30 and Counting, “It’s My Birthday and I’ll Cry If I Want To”

I wrote three years ago a blog post titled “It’s My Birthday And I’ll Cry If I Want To.” In this blog post I outline how easy it is to fall trap to reflecting on all the missed opportunities or paths not taken on your birthday, “Thoughts like “I should have had a degree by […]

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Almost Two Years Sober and Counting…

There reaches a point in your journey when a fork appears in the road, and you can continue on the same path you’ve been travelling in hopes it one day changes for the better or you can take the road you’ve yet to explore. You’re not quite sure if it will yield what you hope for but at the very least it will assuredly offer something new and different. After a long couple of years of misery, I decided I was either going to continue down the path of substance abuse mindlessly covering my internal wounds with essentially band-aids, or I could be brave and choose a new path – one where I struggled, got sober, and came to terms with myself honestly and authentically. Consider the road that challenges you the most when these forks appear on your life’s journey. I can tell you from personal experience, they are more rewarding and you learn that you are truly capable of whatever you set your mind to. Set your mind to exploring, exploring self-growth and you will never regret it. Each day I come closer to understanding myself a little better and I know now I am extremely susceptible to becoming overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that do not serve me. I keep this in line by keeping my wits about me since (as I can attest) drugs just add to the chaos. I want to fully appreciate and interpret my world without dulling it or numbing it on some whim. I want to feel…everything. I no longer wish to hide behind a substance as a way to cope with some shit reality. I intend to create my own, better reality.

“Don’t you miss getting high?”

To that I reply, “I am already high.”

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depression
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Where Do I Begin and Where Do I End?

I tend to shy away about talking about my relationships on here because I tend to treat them as sacred. But I realize that would be negating a big part of my life that my readers may relate to and honestly, walk with me through this break up, and I will have you better on […]

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blog
dream
emergingblogger
hope
mental health
photography
Uncategorized
writing

My First Galentine’s Day

“Just because it isn’t an “official” holiday doesn’t mean it’s not important (like *coughs* the most important). Truly, if you’re going to pick one “fake” holiday to get pumped about, it shouldn’t be National Pizza or whatever else…it should be Galentine’s Day.” According to Urban Dictionary, Galentine’s Day is celebrated on February 13, the day before […]

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bipolardisorder
blog
recovery
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writing

I will always carry a torch for “Torches” (Foster the People)

Music has always been a form of therapy for me and I find myself relying on it now more than ever during this madness. I have mostly been rediscovering older music that I used to lean on in times of crisis. One band in particular I have “rediscovered” is “Foster the People” and more specifically […]

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addiction
bipolardisorder
delusions
education
medication
mental health
recovery
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You’ll Be Flying Again Soon…

“You are not trapped, you just need to relearn a few things. We all have doubts that make us feel trapped at times. If you doubt your ability to make a life-altering decision, to take on a new chapter in your life, or to fend for yourself after years of being overly fostered, consider this: […]

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addiction
art
art history
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education
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mental health
recovery
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writing

You Don’t Always Get What You Want But Perhaps What You Need

“Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of good luck, because it forces you to reevaluate things, opening new doors to opportunities and information you would have otherwise overlooked” (58) is a quote from the book I mentioned reading in an earlier blog post titled “1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do […]

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addiction
bipolardisorder
delusions
education
medication
recovery
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Depression Takes All Shapes and Sizes

There is no hard and fast rule for when I know I am depressed but generally speaking a lack of motivation, constant negative or anxious thinking, hypersomnia and a sense of worthlessness characterize my waves of depression. As someone with Bipolar Type One, I am prone to manic episodes but I have had more serious […]

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addiction
bipolardisorder
fitness
medication
mental health
recovery
Uncategorized

Just Keep Running – A Fitness Update

In a previous blog post I mentioned my weight gain as a result of Abilify, an anti psychotic, and how I was determined to making a lifestyle change. This included watching what I eat and making sure I am in the gym at least three times a week. A month later and I can say […]

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