mental health
bipolardisorder
Metamorphosis
I am experiencing a metamorphosis and I can feel my bones breaking and bending into a newer, more brilliant version of myself. It’s uncomfortable yet liberating. I am finally realizing what serves me; what works in my life and what does not. It is uncomfortable because I am doing some heavy healing and acknowledging I […]
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future
Uncategorized
Optimistically Uneasy Towards My Future
I am learning to compromise in life, to compromise with expectations. It took me nearly thirty years to figure out life will follow it’s own natural ebb and flow regardless of what you expect or think you deserve. I am optimistic, however, that what is meant for me will be for me. I do genuinely believe that and on days I lose hope, or ground, I remember this statement. It comforts me. If I am authentic with my intentions for my ideal future, I can aim and land the mark at least slightly in the ballpark of what I envisioned…I believe this
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My Memory Is A Camera
I have a photographic memory. I know what you’re thinking, ‘So?’ So memories leave an imprint on my heart in a way unlike others. I can put myself in a time and a space and remember exactly what I was wearing, how I was feeling, and the facial expressions of my company. I can put […]
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Personal
“She’s Celestial Magic” (An Ode To My Cat)
misunderstood. She understood that some days I wanted to play, we would chase each other play fighting cause FYI my baby is sassy like me. But she seemed to really understand the days when I needed to rest from the demons in my mind, letting me cry into her fur, dampening it with my tears. She’s always there, never far behind, always by my side. I mean literally the poor girl has some attachment issues, and never leaves my radius unless forced to by my temporary absence from home.
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addiction
bipolardisorder
blog
delusions
depression
health
hope
recovery
Uncategorized
Almost Two Years Sober and Counting…
There reaches a point in your journey when a fork appears in the road, and you can continue on the same path you’ve been travelling in hopes it one day changes for the better or you can take the road you’ve yet to explore. You’re not quite sure if it will yield what you hope for but at the very least it will assuredly offer something new and different. After a long couple of years of misery, I decided I was either going to continue down the path of substance abuse mindlessly covering my internal wounds with essentially band-aids, or I could be brave and choose a new path – one where I struggled, got sober, and came to terms with myself honestly and authentically. Consider the road that challenges you the most when these forks appear on your life’s journey. I can tell you from personal experience, they are more rewarding and you learn that you are truly capable of whatever you set your mind to. Set your mind to exploring, exploring self-growth and you will never regret it. Each day I come closer to understanding myself a little better and I know now I am extremely susceptible to becoming overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts that do not serve me. I keep this in line by keeping my wits about me since (as I can attest) drugs just add to the chaos. I want to fully appreciate and interpret my world without dulling it or numbing it on some whim. I want to feel…everything. I no longer wish to hide behind a substance as a way to cope with some shit reality. I intend to create my own, better reality.
“Don’t you miss getting high?”
To that I reply, “I am already high.”
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breakups
health
recovery
Uncategorized
writing
I’m Conscious Of Not Making Monsters Outta My Exes
There is a verse in a very popular song by Drake from his “Take Care” album (my favourite of all time) that comes to mind as I contemplate something one of my exes (and now really good friends) said to me today. It is verse three from the song “Marvin’s Room:” “I think I’m addicted […]
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emergingblogger
fitness
health
Uncategorized
Why Can’t I Be Bipolar AND Sexy Too, On Social Media?
I AM Bipolar AND sexy too but I won’t apologize for it. I also will not allow people to belittle me into thinking I am any less or that I am not a good person or a good mental health advocate because I display my body. You’re simply ignorant in my opinion if you think the two some how correlate. I am a woman above all else with the freedom to post or not post whatever the fuck I want. If you don’t like it, hit the unsubscribe button quietly then walk away and please keyboard warriors, just get out of my fucking face!
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blog
delusions
dream
emergingblogger
health
hope
medication
recovery
Uncategorized
writing
JFDI – “Just Fucking Do It”
I am not saying I do not still struggle with the inevitable ups and downs of this disorder but I have come to realize you need to give yourself grace. You need to understand healing is a process, a journey unto itself. I simply want to show that you can go from falling apart on your bedroom floor to managing your symptoms and picking yourself back up.
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blog
depression
emergingblogger
health
hope
recovery
Uncategorized
writing
“Just Keep It Movin…”
I listen to a lot of music lately (who am I kidding, I always do) but one artist has really stood out for me as a new great addition to my music library – Kiana Ledé. Her r&b vibes, smooth yet sexy voice, honest and clever lyrics make her a powerhouse of a female singer. […]
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