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I recently went to the local Chapters bookstore to seek guidance on my never ending quest for answers. I purchased four self-help books and for simplicity’s sake I am going to address only one in this blog post and that is Michelle Gordon’s “Where’s My F**king Unicorn? – A Guide to Life, Your Unicorn & Everything.” I am going to be honest here and admit I regretted purchasing this book at first until it dawned on me I had never taken the time to figure out “What?” let alone “Where?” is my unicorn.

Now you’re probably confused as to what the hell I am talking about unless you too have of course read the book. Why on earth are you talking about mythical creatures? And what do they have to do with improving my life? Gordon explains in this text how everyone’s unicorn is different and illustrates this point by describing what her unicorn is: “My unicorn is living life as an author. A writer. My unicorn is being able to afford to write books as well as eat and keep a roof over my head” (Gordon 9).

Your unicorn or unicorns are your aspirations in life. These will change over time, for instance, your unicorn at age 7 will most likely be drastically different from your unicorn at say 27. Gordon raises a valid point in her book: “One of the biggest reasons why people don’t change their lives is that they have no idea what their unicorn is. They haven’t defined it. How can you find something if you don’t know what it looks like, feels like, smells like or sounds like?” (Gordon 10).

I realized I had not defined my unicorn in years, not since my mental health deteriorated to the point I was trying to simply survive. I had no aspirations or goals or ideas of where I wanted my life to be heading, not since being in University. I, however, have now been stable for a few years and am slowly recovering the ground I lost. Through this process of recovery, I have come to realize that I need to once again set goals for myself and chase that damn Unicorn. But what is my Unicorn?

My unicorn (and I am terrified to say it/type it out loud) is to write an autobiography on my life and struggles with bipolar disorder. I am terrified to say it out loud because then it becomes real. It is no longer an idea floating in my head but rather an intent, a call to action. I am fucking terrified of my unicorn because of a medley of fears such as “Am I qualified to write an autobiography? How will I market it? What happens if I invest all my time and effort into this project only for it to fail? What if nobody reads it?” and so on, and so on, and so on. You get the point.

This is the beauty of stating my unicorn, I can now work towards finding it. One good tip Gordon suggests is to “Get Off The Merry – Go – Round” so to speak and step outside our comfort zones (an excerpt from this section is pictured below as it appears in the book).

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I have definitely been in a rut and avoiding tackling finding my unicorn because I believe I will never find my unicorn but I know that’s just my fear talking. I have been avoiding writing my memoir due to several fears and one being that I will never finish it if I start it. I realize this is some serious fucked up logic. I resonated when Gordon said that breaking this cycle for her “was realizing that I didn’t want to get to the end of ANOTHER year and find myself in the exact same place” (Gordon 31). I want to as Gordon says “evolve, grow, change” (Gordon 31).

So How will I find my unicorn? Thanks to Gordon, I have a starting point with this book which was helpful enough to reference NaNoWriMo, the movement that encourages you to write a book in a month. All you have to do is write 1, 667 words a day for 30 days. I have decided to take on this endeavor and attempt to bang out my memoir in apparently 30 days. I am not delusional, I may sit there some day’s with writer’s block or come to hate half of what I have written but I can at least try to put myself out of my comfort zone and focus my energy on creating something. The result could end up being  truly beautiful.

Would I recommend this book?

Abso-fuckinglutely.

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