So I figured it about time that I write an update on my endeavors to quit smoking. I can sum it up in one sentence: it’s not going so good. I quit for a week then was given a pack of cigarettes and thought fuck it! I quit for another week and then was offered a cigarette and it all went downhill from there.
I set a quit date of January 4 2019 and was more than certain I was going to be able to attain this. Long story short, I did not. I have a new quit date but rather than looking to the future, I’ve decided to take ownership of my addiction and quit today. Today, January 30 2018, is my official quit date on which I have decided to never smoke a cigarette again (god willingly).
I realized enough was enough when I was walking down the street smoking a cigarette thinking about how stupid it was I was in fact smoking a cigarette. Britney Spears came to mind and her one popular song “I’m a slave for you” and the lyrics started flooding my mind. I thought “damn, I am a slave to the cigarette” and I really am. The cigarette has made me it’s bitch and I am ashamed to admit it. I stand in minus twenty weather for fuck sakes desperately puffing on essentially a cancer stick, I’d say Ive reached bitch status.
I realized it was becoming a problem when I did not have cigarettes while smoking regularly. I would get moody if I went too long without one and would end up feeling frustrated and like not doing anything until I smoked one. I also noticed it was a big problem when I realized I was organizing my life around smoking. For example, I would smoke a cigarette and then think “ok, one hour until you can smoke another.” I was chasing cigarettes all day and it made me feel horrible that this addiction was starting to take over my life.
I am officially fed up. I quit! I do not want to smoke another cigarette ever again, however, I am not delusional. I am prone to slip up and fall back into this cycle of despair that is my addiction. I have decided though that I am now fully committed to ensuring this viscous cycle does not continue. I am even putting my money where my mouth is…literally. I decided to invest in a newer NRT product a.k.a. nicotine spray. The spray helps with cravings literally within a minute of spraying that disgusting shit on your tongue…cause let’s face it nicotine tastes like shit!
With this new found faith in myself and my endeavor to quit, I can honestly say I am committed to my quit date of today. I am done with cigarettes and I will not miss them running my life ever again.
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