Time For A Change.


I have been reading several blog posts lately on WordPress and see a common theme of change so I’ve decided to address the changes I intend to make the next couple of months to help manage my mental health.

I started going to addiction counselling about a month ago and plan to continue seeking help in this realm of my life. I am a heavy cannabis user and cigarette smoker and want to get to the point that I am completely off the shit. I have a fear that it is seriously impacting my judgement and ability to focus or become motivated. I am curious to see if being sober would help or worsen my anxiety. I am obviously hoping it will decrease my overall anxiety. I feel as though I have no business looking for a job until I am completely sober and so this part of my life is currently on hold.

Another change I hope to make is to become more active. I want to get this body moving again like it used to. I used to bike, walk and longboard literally everywhere. Obviously winter here in Canada, got in the way of these forms of exercise but now that we ‘re entering spring I hope to get outside my house more often. I am intending on getting a gym membership to a popular gym here in town as well. I am more likely to work out if I travel to a space designated for it. It can be a bit of a struggle getting there but once i am in a gym facility, I am pretty good at focusing and getting down a workout routine. Ideally, I would like to be in the gym three times a week but we shall see!

I also want to write, blog, paint and photograph more. I need to work on some of my personal projects that I have been neglecting like my memoirs. My counsellor recommends I actually schedule time to do this but part of me worries I’d be forcing creativity. However, from most writers’ experience this has been a positive thing to do and has generated great results. I may be inclined to try it but I know myself too well, I’ll probably resist it at first and struggle with it.  I simply want to be more productive with my time and spend more time working on the things I love like art rather than spending most of my time smoking up.

If I can make these small changes happen like exercising more, quitting cigarettes and pot, and focusing my energy on artistic endeavors, then I think I may be more happier and more healthier. I believe if I dedicate more time to improving myself then I will be happier overall with who I am as a person.

Change is on the horizon, I can feel it.

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