Overcoming My Anxiety – An Artist’s Struggle (Part 2)

welland canal bridge painting

My Painting I will be entering in the Rose Festival Art Exhibition.

This is my follow up blog about my endeavors to paint a piece of art for the Rose Festival Art Exhibition. I mentioned before that I was facing a lot of anxiety towards painting and finishing this piece. I decided to overcome my anxiety by facing it head on and forcing myself to sit at different intervals of time and work on painting it, sort of like exposure therapy.

I decided to start with painting the water below and was surprised to find I rather liked the end result. I started with quick sketches of lines that imitate the movement of water then decided to wing it so to speak and paint as I imagined it in my mind’s  eye. With each brushstroke, I became less concerned with my anxiety and instead began to enjoy the process of painting something new. I entered a trance like state for about an hour in which I finished painting the bottom half of my painting.

I am happy that I exposed myself to my anxiety in that by facing the painting and working on it, I actually became less anxious because things were starting to get done. I mentioned in my previous blog post that the deadline for registration was coming soon for the exhibition and I had yet to enter. Forcing myself to face my anxiety of never finishing the piece in time and actually getting down to doing it led me to believe I can finish this work in time! I am officially registered now and have roughly ten days left to submit the work. The image above is my painting so far and I have eliminated my anxiety towards not finishing because I believe what is left to do (fill in the bridge) can be reasonably finished within ten days.

The anxiety and fear I felt towards not finishing this piece in time and questioning whether I would be able to register at all at the rate I was going, has subsided. It has only subsided because I faced that fear and anxiety head on and decided to simply DO IT! My advice if you’re feeling anxious or insecure about doing something try throwing yourself into the situation and doing it anyways! It’s much better to face your anxiety than wonder what could have been.

I will admit I have become anxious about the overall quality of my painting now that I have finished the sky portion because quite simply I do not really like how it turned out. I have repainted the sky since doing it, however, and it is looking much better. I have decided to accept whatever the end result of my painting may be. I  want to focus more on the process and the fact it’s finished than the actual end product.

I feel better about myself having registered for this art exhibition and for signing up to volunteer at it as well. I set a goal at the beginning of the month, when I bought all the painting supplies and canvas to paint on, to finish a piece for the art exhibition. I am proud to say I will  accomplish my goal. My depression seemed to recede while I was working towards this goal. Every time I sat down to paint or even draw my work, I felt like I was accomplishing something – working towards my goal of a finished piece. I would argue that painting is good for esteem. You feel good through the process of painting itself and the feeling of getting something done. But more than anything you feel a sense of accomplishment when the work comes together and is finished because then you will have created something out of nothing.

Stay Tuned for the final part of this blog series and the final art piece that will be submitted into the Rose Festival Art Exhibition.

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